Love her or hate her, you sure can’t trust her.

  1. The Signs in high school about drugs and alcohol

I can guarantee that “98% of my senior class doesn’t drink” is absolutely false.

  1. Boxed Hair Dye

That stuff just doesn’t come out on anyone’s hair the same way it looks on the box.

  1. Fitness Instructors That Say, “This is your last set, I promise!”

Don’t trust them! “Last set” means like two or three more. Always.

  1. Malia Obama Telling Her Dad She Was Going to the DNC

Haha! I danced with her security guard at lollapalooza. But good choice Malia, none of us want to listen to your dad talk either.

  1. Elementary School Teachers That Say, “You use cursive in real life!”

When? Haven’t used that. Not once.

  1. Your Parents About the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause

Sure Mom and Dad because they conveniently knew exactly what I wanted and every other kid in the world too.

  1. iPhone Cases That Don’t Have a Front

You might as well just kiss your phone screen goodbye! When you don’t have a front or screen protector than your phone screen is bound to crack.

  1. First Time Drivers

I would rather get in a car with my little sister than let Hillary Clinton run the country.

  1. Makeup Commercials That Say, “Our product lasts 24 hours”

Never has that happened. I’m pretty sure some lady actually sued Lacomé because the makeup didn’t stay 24-hours and she sued them on the grounds of false advertising.

  1. eBay or Amazon Shipments From China

Something about paying $2.oo for an item and knowing that my package is coming from somewhere random in China is really unnerving.

  1. Moccasins Keeping Your Feet Dry in the Snow

They don’t. They just get wet and get your feet wet.

  1. Ice Cream Truck Ice Cream

I don’t trust ice cream truck ice cream, it really creeps me out.

  1. Tattoo / Body Piercing Places in the Back of Strip Malls

If you’re going to get a tattoo or a piercing no one wants an infection, but some of those places are creepy and should read; “Get Your Skin Infected Here!”

  1. The Orthodontist When They Tell You, “You have to wear your retainer after braces”

No one does it, sometimes you wear it to bed, but that’s about it.

  1. Zit Cream That “Makes your zits disappear!”

I wish.

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