Love her or hate her, you sure can’t trust her.
- The Signs in high school about drugs and alcohol
I can guarantee that “98% of my senior class doesn’t drink” is absolutely false.
- Boxed Hair Dye
That stuff just doesn’t come out on anyone’s hair the same way it looks on the box.
- Fitness Instructors That Say, “This is your last set, I promise!”
Don’t trust them! “Last set” means like two or three more. Always.
- Malia Obama Telling Her Dad She Was Going to the DNC
Haha! I danced with her security guard at lollapalooza. But good choice Malia, none of us want to listen to your dad talk either.
- Elementary School Teachers That Say, “You use cursive in real life!”
When? Haven’t used that. Not once.
- Your Parents About the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause
Sure Mom and Dad because they conveniently knew exactly what I wanted and every other kid in the world too.
- iPhone Cases That Don’t Have a Front
You might as well just kiss your phone screen goodbye! When you don’t have a front or screen protector than your phone screen is bound to crack.
- First Time Drivers
I would rather get in a car with my little sister than let Hillary Clinton run the country.
- Makeup Commercials That Say, “Our product lasts 24 hours”
Never has that happened. I’m pretty sure some lady actually sued Lacomé because the makeup didn’t stay 24-hours and she sued them on the grounds of false advertising.
- eBay or Amazon Shipments From China
Something about paying $2.oo for an item and knowing that my package is coming from somewhere random in China is really unnerving.
- Moccasins Keeping Your Feet Dry in the Snow
They don’t. They just get wet and get your feet wet.
- Ice Cream Truck Ice Cream
I don’t trust ice cream truck ice cream, it really creeps me out.
- Tattoo / Body Piercing Places in the Back of Strip Malls
If you’re going to get a tattoo or a piercing no one wants an infection, but some of those places are creepy and should read; “Get Your Skin Infected Here!”
- The Orthodontist When They Tell You, “You have to wear your retainer after braces”
No one does it, sometimes you wear it to bed, but that’s about it.
- Zit Cream That “Makes your zits disappear!”